I decided to contact Dish Network to see if conversing with their online customer service could be fun as conversing with Comcast's. Turns out it is. Also, as someone who overly thinks the dumbest of things, I decided to use an alias - Dennis Ryan. Why? Because I thought if I used my real name I could get in some sort of trouble...yep...
You are currently at position number 1 in the queue.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
Thank you for being a valued Dish Network customer. I will be happy to assist you today.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Thank you for logging in. How can I assist you today?
Dennis Ryan: Hello! I currently have Comcast cable, but wanted to see what dish had to offer
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Great to know! I'll be glad to assist you regarding our services.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Is this the 1st time that you will have Dishnetwork service?
Dennis Ryan: You know it! Do you have it at home? do you like it?
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Are you asking if I have Dishnetwork service at home?
Dennis Ryan: yeah.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: We don't because Dishnetwork serve in U.S, Virgin Island,Hawaii, Alaska and Puerto Rico.
Dennis Ryan: ahhh. Well that's too bad. I heard it is the CRAZY good! With tons of channels...which is good for me because I don't have many friends....my best friends growing up were the Cosby kids and Alex P Keaton. :(
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: I understand. Once you have Dishnetwork, you will have a new bestfriend.
Dennis Ryan: sweet! Well Dishnetwork with be my 2nd tier best friend...my TV and XBOX360 are my current BFFs. They are tied. Do you have a best friend?
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Yes. I do. As a matter of fact I have a lot.
Dennis Ryan: You're lucky...even my cat hates me. And I feed her almost EVERY day too...she just hisses at me and scratches my face when I try to sleep.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Even our cats too.
Dennis Ryan: lousy gatos, right?? Anywho, let's talk about the Dishnizzetwork dizzeals!
Dennis Ryan: aka - dishnetwork deals.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Sure. I checked my resources and to get the best deal that you can take advantage of. I will refer you to our Sales Team regarding the promotions that we have for you.
Dennis Ryan: awwww...want you to help me! you're the best!
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: It's my pleasure. I just need you to hold on to connect to our Sales Team.
Dennis Ryan: wanna be facebook friends?
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Unfortunately, we are not allowed to do that.
Dennis Ryan: :(
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Yes. But no worries although we are not friends in facebook. You can chat with us if you have concerns.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Please hold while I transfer you.
Dennis Ryan: That will have to do...if someone at work tomorrow says "what did you do last night, Dennis?" can I say - I made a new friend - her name is Claire?
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Of course.
Dennis Ryan: Can I say - I met a potential new girlfriend named Claire??
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: No. I'm happily married.
Dennis Ryan: all the good ones...well remember me if you're ever single again!
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: That's so sweet of you. Would you like me to connect the session now to our Sales Team?
Dennis Ryan: yeah....and if you can help it, make it a hot chica!
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN: Sure. Please hold on.
(03mk)* Claire A.9PN has left the session.
Please wait while we find an agent from the (01) Dish Network Sales department to assist you.
Welcome to Dish Network. To better assist you with your buying experience and ensure that we can contact you in case this session gets disconnected, please provide your phone number using this format 999–999–9999
.
(01)Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Hi!
Dennis Ryan: well hello! how are you?
Dennis Ryan: hey - a dishnetwork commercial is on TV right now!
Dennis Ryan: but how can that be on my cable??
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: :)
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Just to verify are you an existing customer?
Dennis Ryan: nah...I got me Comcast cable...looking to see what the d-network offers.
Dennis Ryan: Hey - does "the network" have an all Bruce Lee channel??
(01)Joanna Andrea R.JF9: What channel is that on?
Dennis Ryan: not sure...I was hoping dishnetwork had an entire channel dedicated to Bruce Lee movies
(01)Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Our current plan offers free professional standard installation and equipment for up to 6 rooms (depending on the kind of receivers).
Dennis Ryan: you ever see his movies?
Dennis Ryan: POW! BLAMO!
Dennis Ryan: ...wait, that's old school Batman...do you have a channel for that show???
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Since you are quite a TV fan, let me just start you up with our AT 120!
Dennis Ryan: TV rules!!
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: This has channels like CNN, Disney, Lifetime, HGTV, MTV and a lot more!
Dennis Ryan: what is AT 120?
Dennis Ryan: playboy channel?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: America's Top 120.
The agent is sending you to https://customersupport.dishnetwork.com/DishCart/land.do.
Dennis Ryan: girls don't very much like touching me...so I need to find other ways to "take care of needs"...you know? The playboy channel would help!
Dennis Ryan: i guess not then?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: You can add that to the basic package.
Dennis Ryan: nice!!! for free?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Playboy is now called Hustler. It is $29.99/ a month
Dennis Ryan: damn!! i was looking to spend 13 bucks a month for TV....what package do you have for that budget?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: We do not have anything for that.
Dennis Ryan: really?? maybe I could buy like 3 channels for 13 dollars? like give me MTV, for Jersey Shore, Lifetime, for the chicks I'll be taking home....and the Hustler network. Those three and I'll pay 13 dollars a month
Dennis Ryan: thoughts?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: You can view what we offer on the link below:
The agent is sending you to https://customersupport.dishnetwork.com/DishCart/land.do.
Dennis Ryan: awww...I see one for 25...damn, that's the lowest I take it?
Dennis Ryan: oh well....I guess I'll stay with comcast (I steal it from my neighbor...LOL!)
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Alright!
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: I am still confident that we have the lowest rate in the TV service!
Dennis Ryan: maybe I can get my neighbor to get it...so I get it too! haha...wink
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: It may be $13 for now, who knows after their promotional rate, it will be 2005 more!
Dennis Ryan: I don't understand...but I'm not the smartest. So peace Joanna. I love you
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Dennis Ryan: could you see if Claire will be my facebook friend?
(01) Joanna Andrea R.JF9: I don't have access to their department.
Dennis Ryan: ohhh...ok. well I guess we are done for now. :(
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